


Swiping Right

by ItsClydeBitches



Category: RWBY
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 04:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13091991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsClydeBitches/pseuds/ItsClydeBitches
Summary: Ruby and Yang had been called a lot of things in their time: Meddlesome. Incorrigible. Too Smart For Their Own Good. Having known them since infancy, Bart really should have known better than to give them access to his new dating app...





	Swiping Right

**Author's Note:**

> A Secret Santa gift for Quetozcoatl <3 
> 
> Original prompt: Ruby and Yang play matchmaker

"We should add cookies."

 

"Oh hey, that's not a bad idea! If we can better tailor the site to each individual user then—"

 

"No, Yang. _Literal cookies_. Each time you match with someone we send you both a plate of cookies. Sugar. Chocolate chip. _Nothing_ brings people together like cookies."

 

Yang stared at her sister. There was a rather maniacal glint in her eye and a hungry turn to her mouth. During times like this it was difficult to tell whether Ruby was being serious or not. Her expression said yes and experience... also said yes. Yang sighed and tossed a stress ball at Ruby's head.

 

"The day we can afford the supplies and labor to make that many cookies? Shipping them all out with cute messages attached? That'll be a _good day_ , Rubes."

 

"Yeah..." 

 

It was a slow week in an already small upstart, so the two of them felt no real guilt about chatting the afternoon away. Like Roses was, according to the blog-sphere, _the_ site for finding a date in 2018, but popularity aside there was only so much that two non-official interns could do. Strictly speaking they weren't even old enough to be working yet, but Uncle Qrow had known Uncle Bart for years (he insisted on being an 'Uncle' too—it was _that_ kind of relationship), mostly through their teaching at Signal High together, but all the faculty there had grown to be family over time. Ruby and Yang had more 'Aunts' and 'Uncles' than they knew what to do with. They were tight. So when Bart had finally launched his app and months later Uncle Qrow was proctoring make-up tests before the holidays, and Dad needed someone to watch them while he went off to a conference...

 

"At least we got desks," Ruby chirped, sitting atop hers and swinging her legs. That was pretty cool. Bart had given them a cubicle each to work in and decorate, smiling when Yang had immediately dismantled the divider between the two. Their first day helping out had been _epic_ , learning all about the app, its algorithms, pouring through the reviews and assuring the team that they'd tell all their friends to use it. (Just as soon as they were old enough to really date...) Day two had been pretty cool as well, though by then the team had grown used to the two pre-teens underfoot. They had actual work to do that didn't involve "entertaining the kids," as Coco had put it—which was _rude_ considering that she was still in college. Basically a kid herself, right? On day three Yang had compiled a list of puns for the website. If the matches were "Like roses”—red like romance— then clearly their competitors were the thorns, yeah? And Bart had gleefully taped the list to his own desk, promising to make good use of it. On Day four Ruby had sketched out an updated logo of the rose and now, on day five...

 

Ruby slammed both heels into the desk's side, optimism gone. "I'm bored," she grumbled.

 

"Yeah. Me too."

 

"Working is awful."

 

"At least it's the holidays?"

 

"Holidays are awful."

 

Yang snickered, "You're awful."

 

"Your face is awful."

 

"It's partly your face too, soooo..."

 

Ruby threw her head back with a groan. "So we can blame Dad for everything, huh?"

 

"Pretty much." 

 

Normally they didn't mind being left to their own devices, but the offices Bart had rented out didn't provide much entertainment, just big windows and boring adults scurrying here and there. Sure, they had the computers, but somehow being told that they couldn't do anything _but_ go online suddenly made it the Worst Thing Ever. If they'd been at home and Dad had been bugging them to go outside, Ruby would have wanted nothing more than to stay in with her laptop. Things just seemed to work out that way. Problem was, acknowledging all that didn't make her any less bored.

 

Ruby leaned her head in her hand. "Want to mess with Uncle Bart's shampoo again?"

 

"That would involve you breaking into my apartment and while I'd truly love to see you accomplish that with my updated security system..."

 

Yang had gone very still when Ruby heard the voice behind her.  She turned, slow, making sure her patent, innocent smile was firmly in place. Bart towered above her, looking none too convinced. 

 

"You like the green dye though, don't you?" Ruby said sweetly. Beside her Yang nodded enthusiastically. 

 

"Hmm." Bart took a long sip from his coffee. "You two are bored."

 

"Yeah," Yang drawled.

 

"You're _dangerous_ when you're bored."

 

Ruby couldn't deny it. 

 

Bart considered the depths of his mug, bouncing slightly on his toes. "Do you girls know how the webcam was invented?"

 

They exchanged looks. Their Dad was a teacher. Ruby's mom had been a teacher. Uncle Qrow, Uncle Bart, Uncle Ozpin and Aunt Glynda... this was the kind of shit they dealt with when the whole family was made up of educators. Pop quiz questions and reviews on things they'd never even heard of. If they hadn't read the whole library already, what were they even doing with themselves?

 

Well, all educators except for Raven. As Uncle Qrow had once put it, "That woman can only teach someone to hate themselves."

 

Yikes.

 

Yang jumped up and scooted until she was directly beside Ruby. "Think we have a chance of being anything other than teachers when we grow up?" she staged whispered, hand half covering her mouth.

 

Ruby shook her head. "No way. We're doomed."

 

"We should run now."

 

"Uncle Bart's too tall. He'll catch us."

 

Bart just smiled. "The webcam," he said and both girls groaned, "began because of a coffeepot." He tipped his mug for emphasis. "A group of scientists working at the University of Cambridge were rather frustrated that so often when they went to obtain their absolutely necessary dose of caffeine, the pot would already be empty. I can well understand the horror. Anyway! These brave souls invented a camera that would take a picture of the pot, oh, roughly three times a minute and send them to the computer network. That way they could keep an eye on that ever precious coffee level."

 

"Brave souls?" Yang muttered as Ruby giggled into her hand.

 

Bart raised a finger, eyes twinkling. " _Yes_. The point, my dear girls, is that laziness and necessity are the foundations of invention. If you're bored, why not see what you can accomplish, hmm?"

 

He wandered off, like he hadn't just said something weird again, acting like it was wisdom.

 

Yang cupped her hands to yell after him. "You just want us for free labor!"

 

The hand Bart raised seemed to be an agreement. At least he was honest about it.

 

"What we can accomplish..." Ruby said. She started kicking her feet again, head tipped up to the ceiling. Then she went completely still.

 

"Rubes?"

 

One moment Ruby was on top of the desk, the next she had landed so hard in her chair that it skid on its rollers a good two feet and she had to pull herself back. Yang blinked, Ruby's red sweater making it look like a swirl of rose petals had just blown past. By the time she'd reoriented herself Ruby was already typing like mad.

 

"...Watcha doing, sis?" It was either the Greatest Thing or the Worst Thing when Ruby got like this. There was no in between.

 

She had her tongue sticking out from between her teeth, fingers flying. "Hacking into the matching algorithm."

 

" _You're—?_ " 

 

Yang scooted until she was directly behind Ruby, blocking what she was doing from view. Her gaze slid from worker to worker but no one seemed to care what they were up to. Small favors.

 

"Ruby."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Remember the thing...where just because we _can_ do something... doesn't mean we should...?"

 

Ruby just grinned, her face eerily distorted as it was reflected back on the laptop's screen. "Yeah, but we _definitely_ want to do this. Boredom. Necessity. You know Uncle Qrow has a profile, right?"

 

"Uh huh."

 

Ruby pulled up the page and they both groaned. Too many bird puns. And that _smirk_. Bleach was needed. For their eyes.

 

"He's active now," Yang said, not at all sure how she felt about that. Actually, that was a lie. She knew exactly how she felt. "Ruby. Please. Put it away."

 

"That's not what Uncle Qrow said last night— _OW!_ Don't hit me! Just look, Yang. I noticed it when I was going through the files the other day. Look who's also got a profile."

 

Yang knocked Ruby's head out of the way, a grin of her own spreading. "Oh my god." 

 

 

Yang dropped her head against Ruby's in despair. "He's so awkward. Holy shit. Why did he capitalize everything?"

 

"Maybe he thinks it's cool?" Ruby pulled a face.

 

"And _what_ is that picture?"

 

"Deceiving. Deceiver! I was there, Yang. He was literally giving me cookies at the time. Why does he look so stern when he's giving cookies??"

 

"That's exactly what he's going to look like if he ever learns that we messed with things."

 

Yang looked to Ruby. Ruby looked to Yang. Ruby's hands now hovered over the keys. 

 

"...should I match them anyway?"

 

" _Duh!_ Do it now before Uncle Bart comes back!"

 

***

 

 

 

***

 

"Think it worked?" Ruby whispered. For twenty minutes or so both Qrow and Ozpin had been active on the app, presumably texting one another. What was said though...

 

Yang suddenly pointed at Qrow's profile. "Look! He's listed a date!"

 

"HE'S LISTED A DATE!"

 

At the end of a long day Bart found his two 'interns' making quite the racket around their desks, Yang swinging Ruby into the air as they both shrieked. When asked what in the world all the commotion was about they said only that they'd just justified the invention of his app. Interesting.

 

Bart wasn't sure what exactly they thought they'd accomplished, but it brought a smile to his face nonetheless.

 

He tipped his mug to them on a job well done.


End file.
